Relationships

Trying to articulate a recent contemplation…

Being in relationship with another is NOT implicitly about

- sharing experiences & creating memories while we can, or embracing cozy nostalgia (though those moments may happen)
- “give & take” interactions, mutual enlightenment, reciprocal edification

- affirmation, endorsement, approval

- returning a favor, a debt owed, or “paying it forward”

- 1:1 balance, eye for an eye

Sometimes it’s about assisting the other person, holding them, being a source of comfort, security, guidance, when they cannot help themselves. Perhaps their only reaction is an air of peace about them, not even a quiet smile. 

Especially at the end of life. We come into this world not knowing what the heck is going on, and often the humans around us who help us through don’t know either. And still, we have all been through it (lol), and many have written about it or shared knowledge of their experiences - yet somehow that doesn’t make it any easier. It strikes me that the same thing happens at the end of life. We don’t know what’s coming, and often the the humans around us who help us through don’t know either, despite all the writing and shared accounts. We all do the best we can.

Good Bones

by Maggie Smith

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

(via)

As I walked over to get a better look, the rainbow was positioned to exactly connect my dad's new house to where the old one was. Maddeningly, my camera's view wasn't wide enough to see it all. And the rainbow passed so quickly before there was time think of better ways to capture it.

carry on regardless

and then there were 2

Penny & Sunny - the smallest and runtiest but also the feistiest & sassiest.




Best buds, cuddling up together in their favorite spot.

jumble

My dad's house (the house he built and the house I grew up in) used to be here...



His new house is being built where the vegetable garden used to be:

"In life we have good chapters and bad chapters. Luckily most of the bad chapters have good characters."

via

"People are still expected to provide reasons not to have children, but no reasons are required to have them."
- Christine Overall, in this New York Times article

I appreciate the point of view expressed in this article and the conversation it initiates. (BTW, if you read to the end you learn the author herself has children.) I'm over answering this question, or hearing that my life can not possibly be as stressful or as tiring or as rewarding... I have much admiration and awe for all the incredible, beautiful mothers I know (my own mom being at the top of that list, natch ;). But please don't discount me because I'm not one of them. I'm still part of the entire fabric of our existence, we're all in this together.